For the second year in a row, Heidi Klum has found herself canned after a winning season. The Southern Chronicles reported today that the Rebel Yell franchise will not honor Heidi's contract for 2003. The Rebel Yell management didn't waste any time as they have scheduled a 3:00pm news conference today to introduce their new coach for the 2003 EFFL Season, Ashley Judd.

"Why Ashley?", quizzed the mastermind Mark Saylor. "Well, that is easy. Ashley is one of the up and coming coaches of the sport and would really help bring in fans. Ashley has shown numerous times that she can handle herself in extreme situations."

Heidi Klum left the Rebels with a record of 11-5 and the best finish of any Rebel Yell team since 1998. Rumors have spread that Heidi was involved in a trade earlier in the year between the Rebel Yell and Cereal Kilurz, but this information could not be validated.

The Rebel Yell Coach was named EFFL2002 Coach of the Year. This award was also split with the Rambling Gophs coach, Jeff Teschendorf. Heidi Klum officially gave the award to GM Mark Saylor, who she felt really built the team and deserved all of the credit.

"I just coached the team," commented the modest Klum. "It was the mastermind moves of GM Saylor that really got us as far as we did. He had the hindsight to go out and get quality players like Priest Holmes, Randy Moss, and Terrell Owens. He acquired some great solid talent on draft day that proved to provide the team with depth early in the season. He deserves this award, so I just gave it to him.

The was the first COTY award for Mark Saylor. In 7 seasons, he has made the playoffs 3 times and won the first Superbowl in league history.

The 2002 EFFL season is over and the Rebel Yell will have to settle for 3rd place this year. After a disappointing lose last week in the first round of the playoffs, the Rebels beat Pandora's Box 45 - 29. The contest was anything but heated as the teams looked like they didn't want to be there for this game. Priest Holmes and Terrell Owens, arguably the best players on the Rebel Yell team, did not play because of injuries.

"I am just glad we one today," sighed Klum. "Without Holmes and T.O., I didn't think we had a chance in hell to win. But I guess we were not the only team that was disappointed about losing last week. Pandora's Box didn't have any confidence or desire to be here either."

The Robert E. Lee Gameball this week went to Jay Fiedler and Randy Moss for leading the team to another win. "Jay looked really good this week," critiqued Klum. "I think that he will be a solid part of our team for many years to come. Randy has once again been a key component of the Rebel Yell team this year and deserves the gameball for his consistent play down the stretch."

The Rebel Yell unexpectedly lost in the first round of the playoffs this week to the Second Half Slide, 78.5 - 62.5. The Second Half Slide ambushed the Rebels by scoring 30 points over their season average behind the fluke performance of Dee Brown. Brown rushed for 8 times for 19 yards and caught 1 pass for 6 yards. Unfortunately he scored twice on short yardage goals when the opposing team fumbled near it's own goal-line.

The Rebels also had some setbacks of their own on Sunday. Priest Holmes came up limping after a nice long run that ended on the four yard line. As he walked into the locker room, his backup Mike Cloud ran the ball across on the first play. Holmes did not return and might not play again this season. Also, Terrell Owens played, but sparing after tweaking his hamstring in practice this week. You could tell that T.O. was not healthy as he limped down the field.

"It just doesn't seem fair," whined Coach Klum. "We came into this came as the heavy favorites and with a completely healthy team. We dominated last week in our tune-up , scoring 90 points. Then KABOOM, it blows up in our faces." Priest Holmes had this to say about the game, "I cost us the game and the season. If I wouldn't have gotten hurt, I would have scored at least 1-2 more touchdowns. I had already run for 166 yards and it wasn't even the end of the third quarter. I will carry the failure of this season on my back and will demonstrate next year that we should have been crowned the champions this year."

Coach Klum did not hand out a Robert E. Lee Gameball in today's game, but there were a few performances worth noting. Jay Fiedler scored 9 points in his second start since coming back from his injured hand. Randy Moss scored twice and scored 18 points. Martin Gramatica continues provide consistent play, scoring 11.

In a side note, rumors sparked all over the media center at the Rebel Yell complex. It has been reported by an unknown source that GM Mark Saylor will be coming back to coach the team in 2003 and that Coach Klum will be shipped back to the Cereal Kilurz as part of a deal earlier in the year.

The Rebel Yell easily thwarted the Red Zone Assassins during the final week of the season, 90 - 49.5. The 2002 Rebel Yell team ensured their spot in franchise history with their 10th win of the regular season. Jay Fiedler played his first game with the Rebel Yell team, after taking 8 weeks off to rehab his broken finger.

"We got good production from every player on our team today," commented Coach Heidi Klum. "No one on the team scored less than 6 points, and we scored our season high of 90 points. We look like the team to beat in the playoffs and we are ready for the Second Half Slide next week." The Robert E. Lee Gameball for Week 14 was shared by Terrell Owens and Priest Holmes, whom both scored 18 points to lead the team.

Three consecutive losing seasons, two Toilet Bowl appearances, years of countless injuries. All of this can now be forgotten as the Rebel Yell have made the EFFL playoffs for the first time in 4 years. With the first year coach Heidi Klum at the helm, and a team consisting of talent reminiscent of past playoff teams, the Rebel Yell have clinched the Kokomos division title with a 69 - 33 blowout of the TECtonic Movement.

The Rebel Yell team had a well balanced attack behind quality performances from Kerry Collins, Priest Holmes, and Antowain Smith. The elite receiving corps had an uncharacteristic bad day with Owens and Moss scoring a combined 8 points. Marcus Pollard scored for the first time in four weeks and looks to be coming out of his slump.

Following the game, the Rebel Yell players celebrated their Division title with champagne showers and silly dancing in a locker room that had not seen such excitement in many years. "The team is poised to make a good run at the Lombardi Trophy," expressed an upbeat Coach Klum. "We are starting to fire on all cylinders and the team feels like it is our Superbowl to lose. With the addition of Jay at quarterback next week, we don't know why we can't make a run at the all-time EFFL weekly scoring record." The record of 129 points was set last year by the Cereal Kilurz against the Rebel Yell.

For the second time this year, the Robert E. Lee Gameball was given to the whole team in Week 13. "I just felt that we played well as a team this week and that I should award them for it," justified Klum.

What does it take to beat the Strawmakers? That is what first year Coach Heidi Klum is asking herself today. The Rebel Yell put up 72.5 points behind incredible performances from Priest Holmes (32) and Terrell Owens (20) and still fall short by 2.5 points to the underdog Strawmakers 75 - 72.5.

The Rebel Yell could have secured a position in the playoffs with a win against their arch-rivals in Week 12. In the seven year league history, the Rebel Yell are 3-11-1 against the Strawmakers and their coaching legend, Bernie Martinelli. With this loss, the Rebel Yell split the season series with the Strawmakers.

"One of the prime reasons that I was hired this year by the franchise was to sweep the Strawmakers," said a sober Coach Klum. "I feel that I have let my team down. Maybe I didn't prepare my men correctly during the week, or maybe we just looked past a very underrated Strawmakers team. I will have to re-analyze my coaching process to make sure that we don't lose like this again."

In the locker room, the atmosphere was one of bewilderment. The players were absolutely stunned. "Maybe this is what we needed," commented Priest Holmes. "We know we have the best football team in the league, but we need to play like it every down of every week. If we want to win the Superbowl, we need to show teams what we are made of. And it starts with me, right now."

Coach Klum handed out two Robert E. Lee Gameballs in Week 12, to Priest Holmes and Terrell Owens, for there efforts to carry the team."

The Rebel Yell franchise made a tough move on Thursday morning when it sent their franchise player and captain, Donovan McNabb to the Badville Chaunceys in return for Randy Moss, Jay Fiedler, and Tai Streets. The decision came quickly after the diagnosis on McNabb's broken leg came in. "We really didn't want to part with McNabb, but in our current situation, it was the only thing we could do if we wanted to win the Superbowl," commented General Manager and Owner Mark Saylor. "We had every intention on building the 2003 Rebel Yell team around Donovan and Priest next year, but when he went down, we needed to find someone to replace him. There was no quality QBs on the free agent market, so that kind of forced our hand. We feel that we got a very fair deal in acquiring Jay, Randy, and Tai. If Jay comes back in time, he will fill in nicely for Donovan. And Randy and Tai just solidify our receiving corp. Now I don't think any team in the league has a better tandem at receiver than Randy and Terrell."

Besides sending Donovan McNabb, the Rebel Yell also shipped backups Laveranues Coles and William Green to the Badville Chaunceys. The risk of sending two outstanding prospects was outweighed by the potential of Randy, Jay, and Tai.

The Rebel Yell's win in Week 11 was one of the most depressing wins of the franchises history. In a 70.5 - 46.5 win over a good Pandora's Box team, the Rebels lost Donovan McNabb for the season with a broken ankle. Even though the injury happened on the third play of the game, McNabb showed why he is the team captain by throwing for a career high 4 touchdowns, 255 yards, and only 1 interception. It was also the first time in McNabb's career that he didn't register a single rush.

Minutes after the game was over, the devastating news was released by Coach Heidi Klum. "Donovan's injury will sideline him for 6-8 weeks at least. That means he will not make it back to finish our season. Donovan's gritty effort today is exactly the kind of performance that we came to expect from these guys. McNabb embodies the true Rebel Yell character. The other players know they will have to step up their games in order for us to win this year without Donovan."

Reports from the locker room indicate that the atmosphere is still positive for the Rebels. McNabb was cracking jokes and bestowing confidence in his teammates at the post-game gameball presentation. The noise of the locker room exploded when Klum awarded the Robert E. Lee Gameball to McNabb, and then once again when Priest Holmes dedicated the rest of the season to McNabb. "Donovan and I have become really close in the few weeks that I have been on this team," commented a sober Holmes. "He has taught me a lot, not only on the field, but also in my personal life outside of football. I will be playing for nothing else this season than bringing the Superbowl trophy home for my boy, Donovan."

The Shipyard Sharks played a good consistent game to beat an unimpressive Rebel Yell squad 56.5 - 44. The Rebels did not have a single player score 10 points on the way to their worst outing of the season. Only McNabb and Priest got into the end-zone and then only once a piece. "I don't know what happened today, sighed Coach Klum. "The guys just looked extremely tired and lackluster in emotion. Maybe I didn't prepare the guys well enough or maybe I am practicing them too hard during the week. Whatever the problem is, we need to rectify it for next week when we play Pandora's Box."

The only good news for the week was that divisional rival Red Zone Assassins also lost their game, allowing the Rebels to stay one game up for the divisional race.

Because the team's horrendous game, no Robert E. Lee Gameball was given out by Coach Klum. "I refuse to honor anyone for this pathetic loss. Some guys had some good games, but this is a team effort and the team didn't perform. Therefore no one deserves commendations."

The Rebel Yell defeated the Second Half Slide 75-36 in one of the most lop-sided victories this season for the franchise. Antowain Smith led the team with 24 points. The Rebels also got solid performances from McNabb, Owens, Gramatica, and the Falcons with 10, 9, 8 , and 10 points respectively. Coach Klum had this to say about Antowain, while giving him his first Robert E. Lee Gameball of the season. "Antowain's performance didn't surprise me as much as it seems to have surprised the other owners of the league. I have seen him run in practice and know that he just needed to get the 20-30 reps a game that he received in 2001."

On a side note, former Rebel Yell players performed well the week after being traded to the Cereal Kilurz. Amos Zereoue and Tiki Barber scored 8 and 20 points respectively for their new team. "We really didn't want to give either of these guys away, but needed to in order to create the best possible championship team we could," commented Klum. "Tiki is a very special runner and I expect that Coach Petrillo will thoroughly enjoy him for many years."

In a series of trades this week, the Rebel Yell upgraded their receiving game by adding Terrell Owens and Laveranues Coles. Also, the defense was upgraded by the acquisition of the New Orleans Saints. In return, the Rebels sent Amos Zereoue, The Bucs defense, Tiki Barber, and Amani Toomer to the Cereal Kilurz, and sent Shane Matthews and Brian Griese to the Badville Chaunceys. The moves really solidifies the previously unproductive WR position in return for the loss of depth at the QB and RB positions. "As long as we can stay healthy, our team is dramatically improved," commented Coach Klum. "With the best fantasy QB (McNabb), RB (Holmes), WR (Owens), and K (Anderson), there should not be any reasons for failure in our attempt to win another Superbowl. Especially with top players filling in the gaps at the other rosters spots, like Pollard (TE), Coles (WR), and the Saints defense."


New Rebel The Rebels are in a close divisional race with the Red Zone Assassins. At the current time, the Rebels hold a one game advantage and the tie-breaker against the RZA. The player acquisitions will greatly help the Rebels pull away from the Assassins for their first division title since the 1998 season.

The Rebel Yell team won a close game this week against a much improved Cereal Kilurz, 66.5 - 64.5. This win marks the first time in franchise history that the Rebels beat the Kilurz, coached by Mark Petrillo. Until this game, the Rebels were 0-4 in previous meetings. The game was a home-coming of sort for Rebel Coach Heidi Klum, who was unceremoniously dismissed from the Kilurz last winter after winning their first SuperBowl in the EFFL. Expects were confused by the unexpected release because Klum held a 18-4 record as the Coach of the Cereal Kilurz. Klum then signed with the basement dwelling Rebel Yell and immediately made an impact, leading the team to its best start in franchise history. With the win this past weekend, Klum is 6-2 with the turn-around Rebels and 24-6 overall.

The Rebels got a solid effort from their whole team on Sunday, with solid performances from McNabb, Holmes, Zereoue, and Gramatica. The Robert E. Lee Gameball for this weekend went to the team as a whole. "How can I just pick one player out from all of the good performances," pondered Klum. "Sure, Gramatica scored 17 points off of 4 late 4th quarter FGs of 49, 52, and 53 yards. But reserve RB, Amos Zereoue, made the most of his 15 minutes and scored 2 TDs and rushed for 53 yards. And you can't forget our anchors, McNabb and Holmes. They just continue to have solid consistent weeks."

The players threw a party in the locker room after the game and rewarded a special gameball to Klum. When asked about his coach, Ed McCaffrey had only good things to say about Klum. "I have been on many good Rebel teams in the past, but Heidi really knows how to get the team to win. Don't get me wrong, Coach Saylor was a great coach, but Heidi brings something else to the field on Sundays. Call it luck or just a women's intuition, but she definitely brings us something."

With the win against the 2-6 Cereal Kilurz, the Rebel Yell has now beaten every team that has ever played in the EFFL. The next goal, to win another Superbowl.

The acquisition of Priest Holmes over the weekend assured the Rebel Yell their fifth victory of the season on Sunday. Holmes ran for 113 yards and 3 touchdowns as the Rebel Yell endured a good effort from the Badville Chaunceys who are currently 1-6 on the season. With the likes of Randy Moss, David Boston, Garrison Hearst, and the Bucs defense, their quietly potent offense can produce a lot of points, making the Chaunceys a very dangerous team.

Holmes was not along on Sunday with his 24 points. Griese, getting his second consecutive start for the Rebels since joining the team the week before, had another good performance with 17 points. Marcus Pollard continued to impress since coming back from injury with a 64 yard, 1 touchdown performance on Monday night. Even the newly acquired Arizona defense put up quality points by intercepting Quincy Carter 4 times.

Coach Heidi had this to say about the day... "Even though it was a team win, I decided to give the Robert E. Lee Gameball to our newest rebel, Priest Holmes. He really showed us that he was worth the time and money we put into the trade to acquire him. He really will make our team the best in the league. And to be honest, it will come at the best possible time. Next week, we will throttle that worthless Petrillo and his Cereal Lame-O's."

The Cereal Kilurz are the only franchise in EFFL history that has not lost to the Rebel Yell. Heidi Klum looks to return to Kilurzland and avenge her merciless release in 2001 as the coach of the 2-5 Cereal Kilurz. "It will be obvious after this week who really ran that team," ranted Klum. "I worked my size 2 ass of for him and the franchise and they just dumped me like a used hooker. Then he had the gull to take all of the credit for last season. It makes me happy that this is the week... the time when the real Petrillo will be revealed to the world as the worthless coach he is."

In a blockbuster trade that consisted of six players and three teams, the Rebel Yell helped their run to the Superbowl with the addition of Priest Holmes and Morten Anderson. Holmes and Anderson are both the leading scorers at their respective positions in the EFFL on 2002. The Rebel Yell agreed to send Eddie George and Eric Moulds to the Red Zone Assassins in exchange for Holmes and Anderson. To make the deal official, the Rebels were the middle man for a WR swap between the Rambling Gophs and Red Zone Assassins.


"It is a shame that we had to part with great players like Eddie and Eric," commented head coach Heidi Klum. "But when you have the opportunity to get a player of Priest Holmes' talent and production, you need to jump on it." When asked about the quality of players that the Rebel Yell management has placed on the field for Heidi, she smiled and chuckled. "Mark (Saylor - GM) told me that if I came to the Rebel Yell, that he would do anything for me, including building a team that could make it to the playoffs. It is so good to have a man that can live up to his words and perform. Last year, it was nothing but excuses. Yeah, we won last year, but I had to do it all myself. If you only realized the incompetence of some owners in this league to satisfy their woman (coach), you would be sick to your stomach."

The Rebel Yell lose a heart-breaker, 56.5 - 51.5, to the Rambling Gophs on Sunday. The Rebels were without there fantasy stud, Donovan McNabb, who was on bye. In his place, Brian Griese performed well with 1 TD and over 300 yards passing. But it wasn't enough as the starting running backs for the Gophs ran all over the Rebels on their way to 17 point nights each. Eddie George, scoring 2 TDs and running for his first 100 yard game this season helped to claw the Rebels back into the contest, which earned him his second Robert E. Lee Gameball of the season. At that time, Griese and McCaffrey were still waiting to go on Sunday night.

"The calls were just not going our way," whined Coach Klum, who took her second loss this season. "We had a 45 yard TD run from Eddie called back because of holding, we had a 40 yard FG attempt by Gramatica blocked, and we had a muffed snap on another short Gramatica attempt. That is 14 points right there that should have been on the board."

When asked about the running back situation for Week 7 with all the starters on bye, the coaching staff refused to comment. Owner and GM Mark Saylor confirmed that the team was once again looking for outside help to solve this dilemma, but thought that the team had a good chance to win without a RB against the Badville Chaunceys. "It all depends on the type of game Donovan has coming off his week of rest. If he goes out and throws 3 TDs like we know he can, we have a chance with our 'Bye-Squad' this week."

Stay tuned to see if the management gets help or rolls the dice on their current team.

With Donovan McNabb on bye for the upcoming week, the management of the Rebel Yell sought help from other teams in the league. And in a trade that had eyes around the league opening, the Rebel Yell traded Garrison Hearst to the Badville Chaunceys for quarterback Brian Griese.

"Griese immediately fills a void on our team for this weekend," commented Heidi Klum when asked about McNabb being on bye.. "We now have a top 10 quarterback to back-up McNabb. That takes away a lot of questions about the end of the season concerning depth of our team."

The Rebel Yell dropped Kerry Collins to make room on their roster.

For the third time this season, Donovan McNabb earned the Robert E. Lee Gameball for his 25 point performance. His incredible performance almost outscored the rest of the Rebel Yell lineup in a 55.5 - 43 point victory over Kong. "Without McNabb, we would have gotten our butts kicked this week," pined Rebel coach Heidi Klum. "McNabb has really stepped it up for our team and has become the leader. You can just tell he wants the ball during crunch time."

The Rebel Yell also had some good news on Sunday. Marcus Pollard returned to the lineup and scored for the first time this year. "We had a lot of high hopes for Marcus this year," commented Klum. "It looks like he is regaining his elite form and will give us the much needed offensive weapon that we dreamed all off season about."

With the win, the Rebel Yell team has essentially opened a 3 game gap between themselves and the rest of the Kokomos Division.

The Rebel Yell team lost their first game of the season, 88 – 51, against the Kodiak Bears and Shawn Alexander. Alexander set an NFL record by scoring 5 TDs in the first half of the game on the way to a 40-point night. “There was not much we could do when Alexander turned into a scoring machine,” the shocked Coach Klum quoted. “We knew the game would be close going into Sunday night, but we just couldn’t imagine 5 TDs from one player.” The Rebel Yell franchise must have thought they were having flashbacks from the 1997 season when James Stewart ran for 5 TDs against them. “I still have nightmares about that game when James ran all over us,” cringed GM Mark Saylor. “Now I will probably start waking up twice as much at night.

Looking through the clouds for the silver lining, the Rebel Yell did have some solid performances from key players. Eric Moulds led the team with 11 points with 1 TD and 119 yards receiving. For that, Coach Klum handed the Robert E. Lee Gameball to Eric in a somber locker room after the game. Other players scoring well were Tiki Barber (8), Eddie George (7), and Donovan McNabb (11).

The Rebel Yell look to re-bounce from their first loss of the season next week against a solid Kong team that scored a season high 93.5 points.

The Red Zone Assassins aim was off as the Rebel Yell quarterback, Donovan McNabb, scored a team high 29 points on Sunday. The 4 TD performance by McNabb anchored a mediocre week for the rest of the Rebels. Only Eric Moulds and Gramatica had performances worth mentioning. But even though the Rebel Yell were not firing on all cylinders, they pulled out a 74.5 - 43.5 point win in Week 3.

"I think the team looked past the Red Zone Assassins because they weren't playing against a full team, " commented Coach Heidi Klum. "When the Red Zone Assassins coach didn't start a QB, my boys just chalked up the win and stopped playing at 100%." The Rebel Yell fans were not so calm as Priest Holmes scored 3 TDs and had over 180 yards rushing for RZA. Unfortunately for the Assassins, that was the only real scoring threat for the rest of the weekend.

Coach Klum showed extreme disappointment in her first string offense. "My team just looked right past the Red Zone Assassins. If it wasn't for Donovan, we could have lost that game. They really need to step up and show me that they are willing to give 100 percent effort 110 percent of the time, or I will bench their sorry asses. We are not here to walk in the park, but to win the Lombardi Trophy." Donovan earned his second game ball of the season.

When asked to comment on the team's performance, GM Mark Saylor discussed the importance of the win. "Players just did not show up (except, McNabb). This game was a must game to win so that we could complete the sweep of our division opponents. This was the first 3-0 start in franchise history.

Next week, the Rebel Yell team will play an important game against the Kodiak Bears, since Matthew Saylor, the Kodiak Bear's coach/GM/owner, is the brother of GM/Owner Mark Saylor. Should be an interesting battle for family supremacy.

The Rebel Yell team had to endure another MNF game to decide the outcome of their game for the second straight week this season. But as the clock ran down, the Rebel Yell soundly beat the TECtonic Movement, 54-42. An incredible performance from starting QB and franchise star, Donovan McNabb, gave the Rebel Yell their second win and propelled the Rebels to the top of the EFFL Power Rankings on Commissioner.com. McNabb through for 292 yards and 2 scores and ran for another score on the way to a 22 point night. "He really deserves the Robert E. Lee Gameball this week," commented Coach Klum. "His performance was the difference maker this week against a very tough team."

The Rebels also got some good numbers from their consistent kicker, Martin Gramatica. Gramatica hit 3 FGs (36, 30, 30) and 2 XP for the day. No other starting player scored more than 4 points. The only disappointment was the 3 point effort by the newly acquired St. Louis Rams.

On the injury front, Marcus Pollard did not play in week 2 because of injured ribs. Eddie George went to the hospital late on Sunday night complaining about soreness in his foot. Luckily, the foot was the left (not the surgery repaired right) and the tests were negative. George might be listed as questionable for week 3 when the Rebel Yell team hopes to complete their sweep of their divisional foes with a win at the Red Zone Assassins.

For the first time since the 1998 EFFL season, the Rebel Yell beat their arch-rivals, The Strawmakers. With a brilliant game time decision by Coach Heidi Klum, Antowain Smith was benched in favor of the automatic win. The Rebel Yell had a 1.5 point lead going into MNF with starting RB Smith left to run. But with the possibility of fumbles and negative points, Klum decided to hold Smith out of the contest. In retrospect, the decision was the correct call as Smith ended with 1 point on 60 yards and 1 fumble. "It wasn't a lack of respect for Antowain's talent as much as the abundance of respect I have for the Steeler's defense," rationalized Klum. "I am just glad that my coaching decisions in week 1 allowed us to beat the tough Strawmakers."

The Rebel Yell gave the first Robert E. Lee Gameball of the 2002 EFFL season to Eddie George, who has battled back from injuries last year to post 80 all-purpose yards and 2 TDs. He led the Rebel Yell to the 68.5 - 67 point win, the second highest scoring performance by any team in week 1. Not only did the starting team put up monster points, but the teammates on the bench did likewise. Reserve RBs Tiki Barber and Garrison Hearst both had 8 pt weeks along with WR Amani Toomer's 9 catch 134 yard performance for 6 fantasy points. "Our team is strong and more importantly, deep," laughs Klum. "We finally have the team that could get us back to the playoffs like the great historical Rebel Yell teams of the 20th century."

The Rebel Yell made a late pre-season roster move by signing WR Reggie Wayne to one year $2 deal. The team released the St. Louis Rams to make room for Wayne. "We thought we needed to make improvements at WR," commented Coach Heidi Klum. "We know we have great potential at the WR with Moulds, Toomer, and McCardell, but we also know that depth is just as important." Don't look for Wayne to start anytime soon unless the team has troubles with injuries.

In a press release this morning, the Rebel Yell announced the resignation of Mark Saylor as coach of the team for the 2002 EFFL season. Saylor will continue the duties of the GM’s office, but stated that duel responsibilities of being coach/GM have affected the team’s performance over the last 3 seasons. “The stress of trying to give 110% both on the field and in the front office has really drained me,” commented Saylor. “The locker room had a stale feeling last year and I thought it was time for a change.”

The Rebel Yell didn’t waste any time in filling the void in their ranks. The team announced that recently fired Cereal Kilurz head coach Heidi Klum has signed a 5 year, 15 million dollar contract on Sunday evening. “I am looking forward to coaching the Rebel Yell for many years to come,” says Klum. “The members of the Rebel Yell management are real professionals and down-to-earth people. It will be good to work with a quality football staff, unlike the last few years.” Klum did not have much positive things to say about her former employer, Mark Petrillo. “The Cereal Kilurz tried to make it seem like Petrillo was the mastermind behind last season’s successes. But I can tell you from personal experience, my dog has more football expertise in his tail than Petrillo will ever have.”

Klum also ranted about the quality of players she would be working with in 2002. “Mark Saylor did a wonderful job of fielding a playoff contending team this year. Anchored by seasoned stars like Donovan McNabb, Eddie George, and Eric Moulds, this team should be no less than 10-4 after the season.”

“We are openly ecstatic that Heidi decided to become our head coach,” beams Saylor. “The world knows that Heidi was the main reason for the Cereal Kilurz’s great seasons. I know she is looking forward to showing her dominance in Week 8 when our Rebels meet with those pansy ‘Corn Flake Thugs’ !!”

The Rebel Yells continued to build a playoff contention team by signing Eddie George, Donovan McNabb, Tiki Barber, Garrison Hearst, and Keenan McCardell during the auction. The Rebel Yell team has added top talent without having to sacrifice the depth of the team. Coach Petrillo of the Cereal Kilurz commented about that depth, “The Rebels definitely have the most depth of any team in the league this year. They look strong, which really makes me mad.”

“We really followed our pre-planned draft strategy and it shows,” stated General Manager Mark Saylor. “In the past years, we have always left the strategy if we thought a super-star was going to go undervalued. But this year, we knew we needed to concentrate on filling the roster with guys who could play every week.

The Rebel Yell team has been predicted to do exceptionally well this season. The Petrillo Power Rankings have had the team as high as first and no lower than third for the pre-season polls.

Not even five minutes before the start of the 2002 EFFL auction, the Rebel Yell and Badville Chaunceys made a blockbuster trade swapping Terry Glenn and Antowain Smith. “Smith adds some depth at RB and allows us to spend more money on our number one RB,” commented GM Mark Saylor. “With Terry missing most of pre-season, we just couldn’t take the chance that he would stay healthy all year. When Badville offered us Smith, we had to jump.”

The Rebel Yell team has officially offered contract extensions to five players for the 2002 EFFL season. Eric Moulds, Terry Glenn, Marcus Pollard, Martin Gramatica, and the Bears defense all signed 1-year contracts to start a foundation for the Rebels’ Superbowl aspirations. Coach/General Manager Mark Saylor had this to say about the carryovers, “This is by far the best group of talented stars that we have had signing contract extensions. With this group, the task of fielding the rest of the team on auction day is considerably easier. We have the start of a great team, let’s just hope we can take this momentum into the season.”

The Rebel Yell off-season has been an active one as GM Mark Saylor traded Tom Brady to the Rambling Gophs for the talented Marcus Pollard. “We really got a steal on this trade,” smirked Saylor. “Marcus is one of the most talented tight-ends in the NFL today. He will definitely help our offense next year.” When informed of the trade, Pollard was ecstatic about the great opportunity that just fell into his lap. “The Rebel Yell? I have been traded to the Rebels? That is outstanding. I grew up admiring Coach Saylor and have always wanted to play on his team. With players like Eric Moulds, Terry Glenn, and the Bears defense, we will definitely have a playoff contending team before the season even starts.”