Saylorland Fantasy Football - News Ask Petrillo You ever read The Onion's (www.theonion.com) "Ask A...." articles?  Cereal Kilurz Coach, Mark Petrillo, has started his SFFL version. ----------------------------------------------------- Dear Cereal Kilurz Head Coach Mark Petrillo, I've been having some serious issues with my fiancé.  He leaves and doesn't come back until the middle of the night and won't tell me where he has been.  It has led to several arguments, and I'm afraid I may have to end the relationship.  Please help.  Signed, Sleeping Alone in Seattle. Dear Sleeping Alone in Seattle, What bad luck I have had this season.  Do you realize I have the best team in the SFFL and I STILL didn't make the playoffs!  I can't believe it!  Makes me soooo mad. ----------------------------------------------------- Dear Cereal Kilurz Head Coach Mark Petrillo, Please help me!  My teenage daughter is a living terror.  She has no respect for her parents, and dates losers who abuse her both physically and mentally.  Now she is pregnant and does not know who the father is!  She has no job and no money, and constantly threatens me.  I am afraid of her, but since she is my daughter, I can't just kick her out.  What am I going to do? Signed, Scared in Oklahoma. Dear Scared in Oklahoma, Can you believe the Manning/Faulk combo didn't get me to the playoffs?  I mean, this past week I would have beaten any of the teams in the playoffs!  I cannot believe this bullsh*t!  Perhaps next year my schedule will be easier, and then I will show them.  I will show them all.